Dear Children,

I recently decided to take Fashion Promotion and Communication to study for my Foundation year at UCA Epsom. I’m quite scared that I’m taking too much of a risk, even though it is something I have wanted to do 5 years previously. I wanted to take Fashion and Textiles before, but I found it didn’t suit me as perfectly as I had hoped when I had my tutorial. I feel out of place, and I have become shyer in the process of meeting my friend Nick. I have become shyer as I become less and less sure about my place in the world. I try to get on with people, and some of them have accepted me.  I have a crucial feeling I can’t replace, that I may want to become a cartoonist. It involves my love of visionary work, but I can also write. I thought I may want to get into film, but it doesn’t interest me entirely, and I my lack of control in a situation would nerve me. I have also considered becoming a teacher, but maybe for teenagers. I’m not sure about this, because my ideal would be to work in my own company possibly, be a freelance artist, and be successful in my own right. However, I see more and more how patient I can be with people, and how I have been given a gift of understanding, humility, and light for those who need it, and I think this would be fitting for me to share in an education environment. I could possibly teach teenagers and adults at a university!

I have considered studying Creative Writing and Journalism away from home in UCA, Farnham. Studying writing without art is a painful and confusing thing to think about, and it tears me that I possibly will be without art. I am not sure if I am passionate or committed enough to English to pursue a possible 3 years of my life to it. My family thinks I am very good at it, my friends ask me for advice, and my teachers say I’m very articulate when I want to be, through writing and through spoken word. I have been told that I am intelligent and know how to speak. I want to try and involve myself as much as possibly with the equipment they have in Epsom (screen printing, etc) so that I can also practice in Farnham and continue my art there, whilst still enhancing and studying Creative Writing and Journalism. I want to be prepared and stand out, wherever I go, and succeed.

I think living away from home will be good for me. I have stayed here for a long time, and I would like to experience who I am outside my family home. I would like to learn how to take care of myself, and become responsible. I want to be able to make my own limitation and decisions. I know I will find that staying outside home will be excruciatingly painful, but I need to make decisions like that so that I can be who I want to be. I need to go.

Overall, writing this made me feel a little better! Fashion was a risk to take, but I will learn a lot from it, and it is one of my many passions, and I know I would regret it if I didn’t take it, even if it doesn’t exactly become a career for me. I have a lot of time to figure everything out, but currently I am happy to be in education and have some idea of what I want to do.

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